I have lost my journal ! The journal that helps to keep me from going bonkers! I am not sure which day i am on in my cycle, but think I must be coming into Autumn, which is around Days 15-21, as I am just about keeping the need to fall on the floor and cry at bay.
Why is it that even when I know exactly what is going on, it's still so hard to cope with. My learnings of peri and menopause has been invaluable to my sanity, but still it creeps up and bites me on my fat bum.
I have no willpower at the moment. I really need to lose about 15lbs before January otherwise it's yet another pair of Sallopettes on the shopping list!! Last year I was ON IT. Full of determination. This year it has gone to rats even though I know SOOOO much more about what is happening to me! Am I still fighting it subconsciously? Not letting my body and mind flow with peri-menopause? Am I getting closer to the beginnings of menopause? I am still regular as clock work in my cycle but my bleeds, apart from Day 1, are light and last about 3 days then very minimal to the point of no protection till day 5. I have a knot in my tummy that I feel is anxiety it & just sits there rising up and down like a flippin yoyo that can't quite yoyo.
I am feeling frustrated in my work, although I love what I do now! If I could have my autumn cycle days just curled up in bed only getting up for a wee and food I would :-)
I am following a 5 day manifestation challenge. Today is Day 3 and I am asking the universe to manifest something that I want to see. But my mind is blank. Or is it? I am over thinking? But nothing pops into my head and this is just another thing to get frustrated about.
Having learnt so much, helping and supporting other women on their meno journey, one would be forgiven for thinking I have it cracked. I don;t think we can ever crack it though. Even those on HRT still have a whole set of problems and where anxiety still seems to be prevalent.
Therefore my own diagnosis is that We can just be there for one another; emphasis, listen, hold space for one another. Give your mate her favourite tipple and chocolate bar, despite it being the worst thing for us in menopause (heehee).
If any of this resonates with you and feel the need to share and get it off your chest, please feel free to comment. Big hugs to my meno buddies and bright blessings xx
🤭😱here to edit.
Pauline Wolfe - Currently perimenopausal; passionate; creative; loves to write; sketches for down time; down to earth & likes to write in layman terms! Moved to Malvern 3 years ago from Central South seaside, married 2 years to born & bred local builder. Two grown up children, 3 grandchildren!