<![CDATA[malvernhealingtree.co.uk - The Healing Chronicles]]>Wed, 29 Jul 2020 07:09:40 +0100Weebly<![CDATA[Pre-Menstrual in Lock Down]]>Fri, 17 Apr 2020 11:42:41 GMThttp://malvernhealingtree.co.uk/premenstrual-in-lock-down/pre-menstrual-in-lock-downPicture
Quote from a Facebook Post:   "Getting through lock down is not a competitive sport – you don’t have to come out of it fitter or more fabulous. Whether you are surrounded by kids, or doing it solo, it’s a struggle for everyone" 

My "Let Me Be Honest" Blog!

I am struggling with motivation. I have down days. Today is down day. I feel tearful. I keep staring at my Chemical Aromatherapy coursework; I have looked at the short courses I have on bloody Centre of Excellence. But all I have done so far is vibered by husband and BFF, drank peppermint tea, followed the cat around the house, ordered a kansa wand and Bluetooth earphones and read stupid posts on Facebook!! And it is only 11.23am 🤷‍♀️ I am annoyed that I am putting pressure on myself to do more during this time. To use my time 'wisely'. The only new things I have learnt this past 4 weeks is to hula hoop.

I also know I am in the autumn phase of my cycle. I am on day 22. My bleeds are getting longer in between some months and shorter in between other months. I have no idea when my bleed will come this month, but my emotions today are showing me I am definitely pre-menstrual.     From the book Moon Time by Lucy H Pearce (if you have not got it yet I would highly recommend you do) this is where I am at:
My Season is Autumn.
My Archetype is the Enchantress/Wild Woman (yeah baby!!!  Not feeling so enchantressy right now)  
My Element is Fire.
My Light is darkening.
The Length of Pre-Menstrual is 9 days (normally!)
Hormones – Falling oestrogen and progesterone.
Physically – a Transition Time.
Vaginal Discharge – normally none or blobby, thick and yellow.  I have none.
The next two are so spot on for me right now:
Emotions – creative, emotional, sensitive, and angry!
Energy – Waning dynamic, destructive, descending inward.

Ordinarily Days 20 – 27 (or until my bleed feels inclined to arrive! Or worse it springs an early surprise on me and I am totally unprepared) I find myself sinking and my patience becomes shorter. I get upset very easily and very tearful. It is no fun is it!!  As the days go on, I am tired, I feel heavy and sluggish and I cannot concentrate on things properly. Oh, and I am so tearful!!! (yes, I am going to put lots of explanation marks in. In fact, you may see quite of lot of them through this blog!!)    
Sometimes I cry like a grief kind of crying. Proper sobbing has occurred like letting out so much despair. Poor old Mr Wolfe is like ERRR WTF, but he is always there with a huge hug and words of comfort and chocolate or in my case Crisps!!  
Where it says about this being a creative time, when I sit and think about that, I find that it is true for me. It is usually the times when I sit and write my blogs, or my journalling becomes longer and more frequent over those days. Yep I do feel my light darkening and I descend inward. So, going through menstruation during a lockdown is twice as challenging. Because weirdly although during this phase I often go into shutdown, non-sociable, want to hide away, I do not like that I do not have a choice to go out and be sociable. Do you get my drift?!   And I do not have Mr Wolfe here with me to offer out the hugs and crisps as I am looking after my mother and he is home renovating our dining room. 
I thought I had been through some challenging times in my adult life.  Actually I know I have.  But this one takes the biscuit in some ways…….omg I mentioned biscuits ☹   Sorry Karen Swindall !  And there you have it, another pressure I put on myself was to go sugar free for 7 days, during pre-menstrual week.  Erm, lightbulb moment.  What on earth was I thinking     Keep thinking of the results Pauline !! 
So not wanting to end on a grim note the positives that have come out of today so far are:

  • I have talked about my feelings;
  • I have reminded myself of the current phase of my cycle.
  • I have reminded myself that it is ok not to be ok.
  • I don’t have to do damn all on lock down if I don’t want to 😊
  • That after day 7 of the sugar free challenge I will eat the crème egg I was given in a pet shop on Tuesday!!  Sorry Karen !
  • That I need to re-read Moon Time.
  • That I have so much love and support surrounding me (whilst writing this I have had conversations with my fellow students and tutor on my course who have been amazingly comforting to me).
  • I have an awesome BFF.
  • That I can work really well with the sound of the rain outside and my relaxing meditation music playing.
  • My husband is better off at home doing renovation than being here buying me crisps
  • That spending time with my mum day after day during this lockdown is precious.
Nuff said (as the saying goes).
"Never fail yourself
Never commit to limits....
Follow the particulars
of your spirit
as they pull you...."

By Veronica D. Cunningham